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Yay, it is another opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task

Dating guidelines for nerds

So listed here is my problem: we likes me personally some bashful, nerdy dudes, nevertheless they won’t ever start a discussion beside me. I’ve not a problem using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no pity, actually), but if We attempt to communicate with them We have a tendency to get fear signals straight back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc.

I am perhaps perhaps not unattractive (in line with the good individuals into the photo that is recent with good hygiene, gown feeling, and fundamental grooming practices. I’m a bit peaceful for the reason that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but i will definitely hold my very own in a smart discussion. We have no self-esteem problems or daddy problems or “issues” of any sort, actually (except with individuals whom utilize the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why i am a doper, right? ).

I am told that i am too intimidating (i will be dull) and therefore dudes will immediately assume that We’m taken because i am maybe perhaps not unsightly, but i am perhaps perhaps not flirting either (WTF? ).

I am getting sick and tired of holding the discussion for just two before the nerdy man understands that I am maybe not planning to sprout an extra head and relaxes sufficient for me personally to access understand him.

Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that i will offer or state to allow him understand i am not too frightening, actually?

*relationship advice. It’s also possible to take part in the second-favorite passtime, which will be nitpicking my sentence structure and spelling, should you believe the need. None of the first-favorite material in right here, however. This can be household thread.: )

You hinted to the conclusion which you do fundamentally have the nerdy dudes to flake out, therefore it seems like you are doing fine. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I’m a Nerdy Guy myself, and I should get my spouse to how–skittish–I tell you is at very first. It can not be any benefit compared to the dudes you are speaking about.

What sort of signals do you really distribute? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better still.

You hinted to the conclusion it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very very first. It can not be any benefit as compared to dudes you are dealing with.

*sigh* i understand, but sometimes we wish I possibly could slip a Xanax to their hill dew, ya understand?

What sort of signals do you really send? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.

That is advice. We you will need to distribute “not stuck-up” (because often people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I do not giggle), We make attention contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they are attempting to get a phrase out (this really is difficult).

Wait, you want the quiet(ish) nerd kind? And also you’re at OSU? If We just possessed a motor vehicle…

Feh, who’m We joking? I would clam up too. Girls are frightening.

Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code phrase that I’m able to provide or state to allow him understand I’m perhaps not that frightening, really? First of all of the, i recently took a review of your image, and my your ranking regarding the Attract-O-Meter is;

( perhaps perhaps Not my typical kind, but I would have difficult time unlocking my eyeball-tracking however. )

In terms of advice (and I am in your target demographic): The best thing you can do to make a geek feel comfortable is get him to talk about his favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis as you may have already inferred. As soon as you get him started, sufficient reason for simply the barest of constant prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he will drop the shyness that is whole and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s Guide towards the Galaxy/linguistic interrelations of this Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. As soon as he is run their program and it is convinced that you’re genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Thinking about him, he then’ll begin asking regarding the passions. (then he’s probably just a self-absorbed bastard, and you don’t want that if he doesn’t. You need to work through the initial barricade, perhaps perhaps not to the dungeon. )